Menopause is a significant life transition that many women go through, and it's something that affects more than just the woman experiencing it. Whether it's your sister, aunt, girlfriend, wife, grandmother, cousin, or even a coworker, someone in your life is likely navigating this journey. Menopause and perimenopause (the time leading up to menopause) are phases every woman experiences differently, and it's important that we, as their support system, understand how to be there for them in meaningful ways.
Imagine your colleague suddenly breaking into a sweat during a meeting, or your best friend mentioning she hasn't slept well in weeks because of night sweats and anxiety. These are real-life examples of what women may go through, often without saying much. As a village, we can help make this transition smoother for them by offering understanding, patience, and practical support. Here are some tips on how to be that village.
Educate Yourself
Menopause isn't just about hot flashes—though those are a well-known symptom. It's a phase that can include a wide range of experiences, from mood swings and sleep disturbances to memory lapses and joint pain. Educating yourself about these symptoms is the first step in supporting the women in your life.
Start by reading up on menopause from credible sources like medical websites, books, or even articles recommended by healthcare providers. This knowledge will help you better understand what she might be going through and how you can help. For example, knowing that irritability and mood swings are common might prevent you from taking things personally when she’s having a tough day. Keep the lines of communication open—ask her how she’s feeling and if she’d like to share more about her experience. Being informed can also help you respond with empathy and patience.
Ask, Don’t Assume
While you might be eager to help, it’s crucial to ask what she needs rather than assuming. Menopause symptoms can be unpredictable—what she needs today might be entirely different from what she needs tomorrow. For example, one day she might appreciate help with errands, while the next, she might prefer some quiet time alone.
Instead of guessing, ask simple questions like, “Is there anything I can do for you today?” or “Would you like some company, or do you need some space?” This approach not only shows that you care but also empowers her to express her needs without feeling pressured or misunderstood. Remember, she knows her body best, so let her guide you on how to support her.
Battle the Heat Waves
Hot flashes are one of the most common and uncomfortable symptoms of menopause, often striking without warning. You can help her manage these moments by being prepared.
Consider keeping a fan or cooling towel handy at home or in the office. A friend of mine keeps a small portable fan in her purse, which has been a lifesaver during unexpected hot flashes in public. At home, stocking up on soothing teas or her favorite ice cream can offer some comfort during these episodes. Creating a calming space with dim lights and cozy blankets can also help, especially in the evenings when she might be winding down after a long day. And don’t underestimate the power of distraction—a funny movie or an engaging book can help take her mind off the discomfort.
Support Healthy Lifestyle Changes
Menopause often brings about necessary lifestyle changes, and supporting her in these can make a big difference. Exercise, for instance, is a great way to manage symptoms and reduce stress. You could suggest joining her for a yoga or dance class, which not only helps with physical health but also boosts mood. If she’s not up for classes, even a simple daily walk together can be beneficial.
Dietary adjustments are also common. Some women find that certain foods trigger symptoms like bloating or hot flashes. You could explore menopause-friendly recipes together, making it a fun and supportive activity. For instance, a friend of mine discovered that cutting back on caffeine and spicy foods significantly reduced her hot flashes, so we started experimenting with herbal teas and milder dishes. If she’s open to it, attending support groups—either in-person or online—can provide her with a community of women who understand what she’s going through. It’s a safe space for her to share experiences and gather insights, making her feel less isolated.
Be Emotionally Available
The emotional rollercoaster of menopause can be just as challenging as the physical symptoms. Mood swings, anxiety, and even depression can accompany this life stage. Being there for her emotionally is crucial. This might mean simply listening without offering solutions, validating her feelings, or reassuring her that it’s okay to feel what she’s feeling.
If she’s comfortable with it, encourage her to talk about her emotions, and don’t shy away from checking in regularly. A simple, “How are you really doing?” can open the door for deeper conversations. Patience is key here—understand that she might not always be able to articulate what she’s feeling right away.
Conclusion
As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I’ve seen how powerful a supportive community can be for women navigating menopause. It’s not a journey she should have to face alone. By educating yourself, asking instead of assuming, preparing for physical symptoms like hot flashes, supporting healthy lifestyle changes, and being emotionally available, you can make a world of difference.
Let’s be the village that surrounds her with understanding, patience and a lot of love (and maybe a pint of her favorite ice cream). Menopause is a natural part of life, and with the right support, it can be a phase that strengthens relationships and brings people closer together.