How to Be Kinder to Yourself During Perimenopause and Menopause
Key Points:
Perimenopause and menopause can be challenging stages for midlife women, often bringing physical, emotional, and psychological changes.
It’s common to compare yourself to others, especially when it comes to appearance, fitness, or lifestyle, but this comparison can be harmful.
Physical activity can boost self-esteem and improve mental well-being during this time, but the focus should be on self-care, not competition.
Kindness toward yourself is crucial. Accepting your body’s changes and practicing self-compassion can enhance emotional health.
As a midlife woman experiencing perimenopause or menopause, it’s natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions. From shifts in body weight to changes in hair or skin, you might find yourself comparing your appearance or lifestyle to other women, whether at the gym or just in everyday life. You might think, "Why does she look so put-together while I feel like I'm falling apart?" This comparison trap is a slippery slope—especially during a time when you need to be your own biggest supporter.
The Comparison Trap: How It Hurts More Than Helps
It’s easy to look around and measure yourself against others—whether it's in terms of body weight, clothing style, career success, or even the kind of car you drive. Social media, in particular, fuels this tendency by presenting carefully curated versions of other people's lives. However, constantly comparing yourself to others can negatively impact your self-esteem, especially during midlife when you’re already undergoing significant hormonal and emotional changes.
It’s important to recognize that everyone’s journey through perimenopause and menopause is unique. Just because someone else seems to have it all together doesn’t mean they aren’t facing their own struggles.
The Role of Physical Activity in Boosting Self-Esteem
If you're looking for a way to improve how you feel about yourself, exercise might be a powerful tool. A study by Magdalena Dąbrowska-Galas and Jolanta Dąbrowska titled Physical Activity Level and Self-Esteem in Middle-Aged Women found that regular physical activity can significantly enhance self-esteem during midlife. The study highlighted that women who engaged in consistent physical exercise reported feeling more confident and better about their bodies.
However, it's crucial to approach physical activity as a form of self-care, not competition. Rather than focusing on keeping up with others, aim to move your body in a way that feels good for you. Whether it’s yoga, walking, swimming, or weightlifting, the key is to find joy in the movement, rather than using it as another metric for comparison.
Be Kind to Yourself: Embracing Self-Compassion
During this transitional phase, one of the best gifts you can give yourself is the gift of self-compassion. Perimenopause and menopause often bring physical changes like weight gain, hot flashes, or decreased energy levels, which can challenge your sense of self. Instead of berating yourself for these changes, try to accept them as part of the natural aging process.
When the inner critic starts to compare you to others, remind yourself that your body is doing its best during this time of change. Practice kindness by acknowledging how strong and capable you are. Whether that means taking a day off to rest, treating yourself to a relaxing bath, or enjoying time in nature, being kind to yourself is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for emotional well-being.
Focus on What Truly Matters
Rather than zeroing in on external appearances or lifestyle markers, focus on what truly matters to you during this phase of life. What brings you joy? What activities make you feel more connected to yourself and others? By aligning your daily choices with what truly fulfills you, you’ll find that the need to compare yourself to others fades into the background.
In conclusion, being kind to yourself during perimenopause and menopause is essential. Don’t waste your energy comparing your journey to someone else's. Instead, focus on self-compassion, physical activity that feels good for you, and embracing the changes your body is going through with grace. After all, this is your time to nurture yourself, mind, body, and spirit.
Citation: Dąbrowska-Galas, M., & Dąbrowska, J. (2023). Physical Activity Level and Self-Esteem in Middle-Aged Women. Journal of Health, Fitness & Wellness.
This post is not intended to offer medical advice. Always consult a healthcare provider before starting any new exercise or wellness regimen.